


I want (to hate) you

by flwrkyuu



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst ish?, Fluff and Angst, M/M, idk this was just the product of me being sad, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flwrkyuu/pseuds/flwrkyuu
Summary: Kevin hates spending the holidays alone more than anything.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	I want (to hate) you

**Author's Note:**

> um hi? 
> 
> this one is v short but its sweet. it was basically just the product of me being sad all day today. thank u to the like,,, five?? six?? people that read this over <333 i love yall !!
> 
> anyway that's all !
> 
> -sonja

Kevin always hated the holidays. Everyone has a family to go to but him. It isn’t exactly feasible to fly back and forth to Canada for every holiday. Which means he’s often alone for at least some of the holidays. That’s how it was for the first few holidays after Kevin debuted in The boyz. Until about a little over a year after debut, that’s when he started dating Jacob. 

After they started dating Jacob would spend half the holidays with him and half the holidays with his cousins. That still leaves Kev alone quite a lot, but it’s better than nothing right? This year though, Kevin finds himself all alone at the dorms. Jacob didn’t even say goodbye when he left this morning. What a way to spend Chuseok. Sad and all alone. 

A small sigh escapes his lips as he trudges into the kitchen. He hates being alone. The quiet of the dorm leads way to too many overthought thoughts. Not hearing Chanhee and Sunwoo bicker between their rooms or Eric playing call of duty while on a call with Felix in his room. No light laughter coming from Haknyeon and Hyunjae’s room or sound from the tv that always seems to be on even when no one is watching. Kevin hates how quiet it is.

He opens the cupboard up and grabs out his favourite mug. From a different cupboard, he pulls out a packet of hot chocolate mix and dumps it into the glass before he heads to the stove to grab the kettle he had filled about ten minutes earlier. He pours in the water and stirs it all together. The powered hot chocolate was never very good, but a sad drink for a sad person, right?

Kevin brings his hot chocolate over to his room and places it on his bedside table. He crawls onto his bed and puts his laptop down on his lap. He presses play on the episode of community he was in the middle of when he decided to make hot chocolate. It’s sometime after three in the afternoon. Everyone left this morning before Kevin woke up (because although he doesn’t sleep much, there are times when he sleeps in). Part of him doesn’t want to care that Jacob didn’t say goodbye, but he could’ve left a note or something. 

Then there’s that part of him that feels kind of betrayed for being left alone, especially when Jacob said he was going to stay with him for all of Chuseok this year. Maybe that’s what hurts more. Being lied to. 

He reaches over to his mug without his eyes leaving the screen. He brings the mug up to his lips and takes a sip, burning the tip of his tongue on the hot liquid. A frustrated sigh leaves his lips as he places the mug back on his bedside table.  _ Powdered hot chocolate is such ass  _ he thinks to himself. The only sound in the dorm comes from the show softly playing through Kev’s laptop. Kevin spends the whole day like that. Watching community on his laptop while curled up against the headboard of his bed. And just like that the first day of his holiday is gone, spent sad and all alone. 

Honestly, he  _ wants to hate _ Jacob for lying to him. He really does. It may not seem like the biggest reason or the end of the world. It’s just over a holiday right? But it’s the principle that he lied in the first place. Maybe after almost two years of an honest relationship, Kev just expected that Jacob wouldn’t lie to him. That’s a reasonable expectation after all. 

But he can’t seem to hate him, he just _ wants _ him. He wants him close, to be held in his arms as they watch some stupid rom-com on the couch of the dorm. He wants to talk to him and say their little inside jokes. Kevin simply wants Jacob. 

So when he wakes up the next morning to the empty dorm he can’t help but be a little disappointed. Not really in the mood to make himself food he slowly gets dressed, grabs his phone, wallet and keys, and heads out of the dorm. There’s a nice coffee shop not far from the dorm that he likes to go on dates to with Jacob. A bell rings as he enters and he’s greeted by the old couple that runs the shop. 

“Oh? Where’s your pretty boy?” The old lady asks as she notices Kevin has come in all alone. “With his cousins for Chuseok,” Kevin replies, taking a look at the pastries on display. “He didn’t stay with you?” The old man asks, already getting Kev’s coffee ready before he’s even ordered. “Not this year,” Kev says with an awkward laugh. “Well, that’s not nice of him.” The old lady says, her hands on her hips and her lips curled down into a frown. “Tell me about it.” Kevin mumbles. “Anyway, I’ll have my usual coffee and a cinnamon scone please,” Kevin tells the old lady. 

“Coming right up sweetheart.” Kevin taps his card and takes his coffee from the old man as he waits for the old lady to grab his scone. “Happy Chuseok,” Kevin says to the couple. “Same to you young man.” And then he’s off. It’s only a few minutes before he’s back into their dorm building and riding the elevator up. Today is Chuseok. It’s a Thursday. It’s still too early to call his parents back in Canada seeing as it’s still not technically Chuseok there. 

When he gets back into the dorm he finds himself alone again, and it’ll be that way till at least tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. That’s when Sunwoo said he would be coming back. Kevin plops down on the couch and places down his food from the cafe. He flips on the tv and lets whatever random show play as he absentmindedly has his breakfast. 

His mind wanders to many places. He thinks about everything from the music he’s working on to Jacob, lots of Jacob. A frustrated grumble leaves his mouth as he reaches for his cinnamon scone. The tv quietly playing in the background as his thoughts become louder. Just like someone had used a remote to turn up the volume of the tv but instead it was his mind. 

He gets so engrossed in thought that the last bit of his coffee goes cold and his scone is left half-eaten. A few hours of just him, sitting on the couch, thinking, as the tv quietly plays in the background go by and it's suddenly one in the afternoon. He sighs and flips off the tv. 

Kevin heads into his room to try, keyword try, and nap the rest of the day away. He doesn’t have the focus to be productive right now, and plus it’s a holiday, he’s supposed to be resting anyway. He would just prefer to be spending his time with a certain Canadian instead. Kevin turns on his soft sleep playlist and curls up under the covers. Naps don’t come easily to him, heck sleep, in general, doesn’t come easily to him. It’s worth a shot though, maybe he could catch up on all the sleep he’s been missing with all their schedules and late-night practicing. 

Eventually, though, he does fall into a very  _ very  _ light sleep. It takes a while though, maybe forty-five minutes? That’s why he doesn’t hear the front door slowly open a little after two. The male moves through the dorm and finds himself standing in the doorframe of Kevin’s room with a small frown on his face. He lets out a sigh and heads over to his own room to put away his things. 

A few minutes later he returns to Kevin’s room. The younger still softly sleeping, hugging the teddy bear Jacob has gifted him for valentine’s day this year. He walks up to the edge of Kevin’s bed and sits down. He reaches out and gently caresses Kevin’s head. “Kev.” The older calls, not too loud, but hopefully loud enough to wake the sleeping male. Kevin’s stirs in his sleep. Mumbling something the older can’t seem to understand. “Kev baby, wake up.” He says again. 

This time, Kevin’s eyes flutter open. His vision a little blurry as he sleepily tries to make out the figure sitting on the bed beside him. It seems to click rather quickly as a frown appears on his face. “You lied to me.” He softly says, his calm tone underlying with hurt and betrayal. “I didn’t mean to,” Jacob replies, reaching out to gently grab hold of Kevin’s hand. “But you did.” The younger replies, the hurt in his voice more evident this time. 

“I’m sorry Kev.” He says, but Kevin doesn’t reply. He sits up a little, Jacob still holding one of his hands as he leans up against the headboard of his bed. A silence falls over them as Kevin avoids eye contact with the older. It stays like this for a few minutes till Kevin finally speaks up. “Why did you lie Jacob?” He asks.

The older doesn’t immediately answer. “It wasn’t originally a lie,” He starts. “I wanted to spend Chuseok with you this year, just the two of us. But then when I woke up yesterday morning I woke up to a message from my parents telling me I had to spend at least a day with my cousins and that they were expecting me by ten.” Kevin doesn’t respond and Jacon doesn’t say anything else. “You could’ve left a note or something, a text maybe?” Kevin says breaking the silence. 

“I know.” Jacob mumbles. Kevin frowns again. He leans forward, his back off the headboard as he lets go of Jacob’s hand and instead places his hands on the older’s waist. He pulls him close and leans his head on Jacob’s shoulder. “I hate you,” Kevin mumbles into the crook of his neck. Jacob wraps his arms around the younger and places a kiss on his neck. “I’m sorry for being an idiot, and leaving you all alone with no explanation.” Jacob softly says as he rubs Kev’s back.

Kevin just softly hums in response. Sure he was sad and alone, but now he has everything he wants. Jacob’s embrace is so warm, so comforting. It almost feels like home. No, scratch that, Jacob is Kevin’s home. “I love you.” Jacob mumbles. “I hate you,” Kevin replies. The older breaks the hug and looks at Kevin with sad eyes. “I’m kidding you dumbass.” Kevin softly says with a chuckle. “I love you too, just don’t leave me like that again alright?” 

“Anything for you baby.” 


End file.
